when someone says they are proud of you

#8: They say you need to change. Updated: Dec. 11, 2020. Im glad I found this interesting discussion, as I just had a man I am seeing state I am proud of you and it made me feel great, yet at the same time realized that it can come from a position of higher power so I needed to contemplate the relationship. Language gets corrupted. It was then that I realized that who I am is a unique, valuable, and loveable person. Thats the response I was expecting from you. [Chorus] They say redemption's on your mind when you think about . However, the other expression Im really happy for you is so overused that it immediately rings the bell of insincerity. Your friend wants to say "I am proud of you too, my friend". Then there's emotional attraction. Praise does not help bring up children who have an internal belief in themselves, of self-worth. Immune Response. Lost Index. Ive been waiting for a long time to give you this surprise! Lets see where we can go with this. 1. "I'm proud of you" is often associated with mentor-mentee relationships, something that a teacher or parent might say. Prior to going back, I asked if shed be going to the homecoming tailgate and football game. I say it often to former students. The best way to do this is to express your own feelings of appreciation. 1. 1. The administrator takes no responsibility for any action or outcome a reader may make as a result of reading a post. I really dont see that she had a direct influence in what I chose to do. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. They often tell each other they are proud of one anothers achievements and they all know its genuine. Well, that truly makes my day. Instead of acting out of rage over . 1. By accepting the compliment and reflecting on your qualities, you may feel more satisfied in life. They didn't have to do that. Pause before responding. Truly grateful to have such a loving family. 13. A special note on research suggesting that parents saying "I'm proud of you" prevents future mental illness and suicidal ideation in their children. Love you so much. One of the wives of these manual labourers had befriended me in church and was an older woman. Often the 'I'm proud of you' I get from strangers includes an unwanted and inappropriate familiarity, a hug a bit too long or a bit too hard, a knowing look and more emphasis on the 'I' than the 'you' in the 'I . Thanks. Refresher workshop for P.E.T. It can be something big or something small it doesnt matter, because the phrase is used to show their appreciation for your efforts and accomplishments. Second, he must know you well. On the one hand, you're thinking, "He says I'm amazing," and you know he's not wrong. Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. . The phrase "Im proud of you" insinuates that the speaker (parent, teacher, co-worker, boss) has more experience, or power, or in some manner has the right to pronounce their opinion, on someone elses effort. By being proud of me that person shares their mind and soul with my mind and soul and includes me in a certain extended period of that persons life. Like Im only worth anything just because Im making money? July 7, 2020 April 21, 2018 But, why does the response "me too" sound natural in response to "I am glad to meet you". 9. Instead, I try implementing the approach from Parent Effectiveness Training (PET), a peaceful, gentle approach to parenting, that teaches respectful communication skills, and offers alternatives to using rewards (such as praise), or punishments (such as saying "Im disappointed"). I had a lot of this type of treatment in that small community. Your email address will not be published. She texted back that I make her smile and that shes proud of me. A compliment like this means a lot to us, seeing that we give our people a chance to be happy and proud because of us. We laughed a lot and re-lived some old memories. There are alternatives to praise and saying "Im proud of you", and they include: I consciously have to stop myself from saying "Im proud of you". SFD a bit late in the day to be commenting but I think your assessment of the phrase is spot on. You are asked at the cocktail party what you do. 7. Later, I saw her in a restaurant and apologized for balling her out in public. Yeah, this means a lot to me. When someone says Im proud of you, they are expressing their admiration and respect for you and that can be a powerful thing. Grandparents And Grandchildren: Observations From A Parent In-Between. Because we ran into a bunch of other classmates that were also there, we didnt spend time exclusively with each other but we did sit together at the game. 9. Go To Homepage. William, however, was too proud and too obstinate to lend himself to such a course. February 18, 2023 There are people who interpret life as if it were all about a fight of egos. 2. On the other hand, my brother has said it to me, and although he did not play a role in my achievement, it still meant something positive to me and it felt good. It's nothing bad or unusual. All Rights Reserved. Also, I really like the litmus test of how you would feel on the receiving end. Thanks. But what does proud mean? Focus on what is positive in their life and avoid getting overly . 3. Its probably contempt and anger. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. Some years ago I attended a parenting seminar, where the speaker incidentally mentioned avoiding the phrase "Im proud of you". I like what Chris Yeh said about the (phrase/declaration), Im proud of you, Approval is different to acceptance. My boys are all each others fan club and its marvelous. Maybe Im mad, because it makes me feel like he thinks I wasnt doing enough before I started back at work- like carrying children inside of my body for nearly two years, plus birthing them, plus never sleeping, plus cleaning for HOURS upon HOURS everyday, plus cooking, plus plus plus wasnt enough to be proud of. "How long have you been sober?". 1. A hug or a gentle touch of the hand can even get this message across. Ive been lurching between How can you be proud of someone elses children? but then challenging that with But then as we do both have a close relationship with her we probably have had some influence on how shes turning out . Graduates: TBA, Grandparents: PET for Grandparents. Words have power and they can have a profound effect on us. Im proud of myself, although saying it out loud doesnt make it better. . If there is a mentor relationship, fine, but when the relationship is supposed to be about equals, For doing what Im supposed to do? The important thing is to reach out and let the person know that they matter to you. My husband just said it to me a couple of days ago (for a little achievement I just made in my physique) and it made me happy as well. 20 of the Best Encouraging Words that Hold any Caregivers Up 06 "Tim, I keep wondering what Dad would say if he were alive right now. Hearing those words can make us feel seen, understood, and appreciated. My mother said it to me when I graduated from college and I will never forget it. ie you have brought them up as parents and are proud of them for their achievements or manners etc. I wanted to know whether or not I was overreacting.He had no hand in my achievements and since he was the one who caused me those problems, I feel he has lost every right to use that phrase with me. It's a pleasure to congratulate you on this lovely moment. You must log in or register to reply here. I don't think you . but not the p-word. 6. And Ill encourage them to be proud. All rights reserved. This has always happened, but in a context like the current one, in which both rivalry and appearances are highly valued elements, it is very common for this class of individuals, educated to become this way, to appear. When we avoid the phrase Im proud of you, we allow our children to be their own person, to grow to their own potential - in a relationship of mutual respect. If youve finally graduated or youre the first one who got an A + in your entire family, your parents express how proud and happy you make them. To say you're proud of someone is to say that you can relate to them and, if in their shoes, you would be proud of the accomplishment. What does it mean when someone tells you that they are proud of you? But is that really very useful? For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding. Whoever those people are, they are probably your mentors. 2. You look so much better!". 1. Health Gap. PJ, I think your ex still cares for you so your accomplishments evoke pride in her. Yes, I think this is why my friend, even though older, was proud of me, I felt was being presumptious to put herself above me. Thats what I think. True - the parent might have spent hours helping the child get their homework done or even completing the childs assignment. "Be proud of your scars. When someone says Im proud of you, its important to take the time to think about how you want to respond. So tell them it feels like you are bothering them. Plus, they also express how proud they are, when you do something special for them. Especially when you get to hear this from your parents, it means they're happy to see you grow up the way they raised you. The Obama campaign needs to walk this one back and pronto. "This isn't easy, but you did the right thing." Sometimes supporting a friend and letting them know you're proud takes the form of helping them cope with a difficult decision they made. I dont think there is a neutral position. 9. "If by a "Liberal" they mean someone who looks ahead and not behind, someone who welcomes new ideas without rigid reactions, someone who cares about the welfare of the people-their health, their housing, their schools, their jobs, their civil rights and their civil liberties-someone who believes we can break through the stalemate and suspicions that grip us in our policies abroad, if that is . I think its about the underlying meaning of these words to a child. So thank you, mom and dad! "I guess we can't all get Ph.D.'s in science like I did.". She was very rude and grouchy with me and reluctantly corrected her errors after I asked the manager to get involved. When you respond to Im proud of you with gratitude, youre also taking advantage of the power of positive reinforcement. Be proud of you." - Oprah Winfrey 3. For even more than mentors, but for people who deserve your care and attention in life. I can see a peer, a spouse, or even a child saying that to someone who got a new deserved promotion, for instance. There may be times when he gets some details wrong, but no one is taking score about who gets the fine points right most of the time. Do you really think this had a lot of positive impact on many children? So - when a parent says, "Im so proud of you", is the parent taking the credit for the childs accomplishments? Hosted by Pressable. When my parents tell me that they are proud of me, I generally take it to mean that they recognize something I have done on my own merit as being worthy of praise. After reading this, I now believe its because I dont look up to him in any way and he doesnt know me so well as to fully appreciate my accomplishment like my family would. A parent might say this to a child, perhaps. Think of things people have often praised. He may not have been able to think of something better or funny so he settled for that. Sometimes a simple change of scenery might help you to stop thinking negative thoughts. And guess what? 8. The most important thing is to show your appreciation and gratitude for their words. Use words that will strengthen your relationship. Why is your manager taking credit for the work you put into the report? I can take pride if I made a contribution, but I have to frame it that way. When you say, "I'm proud of you," you may actually be simply rejoicing in another. I teach high school. But I gratuitously accepted his compliment. The best thing to give to your enemy is forgiveness; to an opponent, tolerance; to a friend, your heart; to your child, a good example; to a father, deference; to your mother, conduct that will make her proud of you; to yourself, respect; to all others, charity. "Always work hard, be honest, and be proud of who you are.". But only emotionally intelligent people understand why. I am livid because a couple of arrogant, condescending people who had been known briefly, posted, We are so proud and impressed, on a stinking FB page, I do not use FB, etc. Ive been totally using that word all wrong sheesh, all the complaints about the misuse of the word makes me feel bad about what and how I been addressing my peers and friends. He remembers things that you tell him. I guess after receiving the compliment, I felt that he was patronizing me, because I have only had my parents or teachers say they were proud of me. As if Im mentally retarded and reading a book for the first time in my life, and hoping to get a cookie and a star sticker. Proverbs 16:18 Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before stumbling. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. We are probably trying to encourage our children, and even instil in them a sense of pride in their own achievements. They are much more aware and can see through false motivation easily. She states I always tell someone I am proud of them. I very quickly responded with a snappy, Why? He said because you were up last night with the baby, and went to work, and youre still cleaning this late at night. Um What a shock that I am hardly sleeping, cleaning constantly, working again, taking care of two babies, doing his laundry/dishes/cooking It really rubbed me the wrong way that he was proud of me. I wouldnt say Im proud of you in this situation. http://pbskids.org/rogers/songLyricsImProudOfYou.html. If parents don't 'approve' of their child, then they disapprove. They may find it difficult to take pride in who they are and what they have achieved. The phrase, in my belief, implies my contribution as a parent. That way, all they have to do is show up. In this blog, well take a look at Im proud of you and how to respond to it in a meaningful way. From that day on, I felt like I couldnt really trust him, and now I know why. When you respond to someones words of admiration with gratitude, youre showing that you value and respect them. Private face-to-face sessions and course not available at this point. These two simple words"I care"can mean so much to a person who may be feeling like the entire world is against them. that he harrassed them or . Especially when your best friend is saying You make me proud, they arent just complimenting you. 2014, 2016, 2019. They can be proud; we should be happy for them, and grateful that we played any part in it. Interesting perspective. Most of the time, having pride about someone else comes from a place of superiority. 11. The child has done well enough for the parent to bring out the big guns the proud word. Im excited, are you? This can help to create stronger relationships and can help to create a positive and constructive environment. Most times, people use "I am busy" as a tool for avoidance. I drove home and when I got home I texted her that I had arrived home safely. One of the most common phrases they use to express their feelings is Im proud of you. 0. We can all have slightly different interpretations of words which if not careful can start a war! For many of us, hearing this phrase is like a warm hug. Youre the most amazing parents and thank you for believing in me. I grew up being complimented for my looks . Can "me too" be used here? I have never said to my children, I am proud of you. My reason is that thry are responsile for their successes and I shoudnt take any credit for it. In this sense, a mentor is a parent that you choose, and the desire for his or her love and approval is as natural as the desire for that of a parents pride. He gets a "that's nice". That makes you a living miracle. I was talking about this statement Im Proud of you to a friend.I was annoyed about someone saying they were proud of me who barley knows me. Home / How Do I Respond To Im proud of you? Everything you do is with excellence. Tell Them You Care. Who is saying this to whom? This topic came to mind because I recently saw a friend / mentor and told him about a meaningful professional accomplishment. Youll feel mad and resentful. Is it OK to respond to "I am proud of you" with "Me to", "So do I", and "I am too", and "I am proud of you too"? I think I instinctively recognized that the balance of power had somehow been upset, but couldnt put my finger on it. "A proud man is always looking down on things and people; and, of course, as long as you are looking down, you cannot see something that is above you." - C.S Lewis 2. It will also help to give you a boost of confidence. Continually acting to seek the approval of a parent is onerous for a child. When someone says they are busy, it could mean that they are busy. Youre the first person who is happy with it. Listen to your inner wisdom, and make a note of the meaning that resonates with you. "), Friend: "I'm proud of you for being brave and standing up to your boss", As the friend who has found that courage, is this statement something you would appreciate? Our children need to know that we believe in them, that we trust them, that we support them, that we love them, that we acknowledge them as individuals separate from us. I am still so mad, but I havent said anything about it. Ive had multiple people tell me theyre proud of me like my parents, grandparents, elders but it just doesnt mean anything to me, I dont have any emotional response from any of them and my response ends up being ok or yup. I now understand that its because I dont feel superiority over anyone, and Im perfectly happy with that . In fact, whenever I hear this phrase from a colleague, I immediately understand that this person in reality is envious of my achievements and the phrase Im really happy for you in fact means Im very unhappy that its not my achievement, that you and not me is getting the praise/ promotion/ degree/ lottery win, I hate you for that and I wish I was in your place right now. (I'd prefer "Wow, that must have taken some thought and courage! I was excited to see your reaction. I also have to let go of holding it against him, because I presume it was a well-meaning gaffeinstead of saying how happy he is for me, as hes never been belittling before. facilitator, with over 1000 parents completing the course with her. As your friend I want you to know that there is nothing I wouldn't do for you. After the game I took her back to her car, gave her a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. Whatever you did today was the way it was meant to be. Im so glad to hear that. For me, this was a huge take-away moment. But I would also add another category: people who know you well *because* they have worked with you and even for you for a long time. My boyfriends ex, posted a im so proud of you on a photo he posted: something he achieved. With teens and adults, saying "I'm proud of you" is a bit different. 10. No matter who they are, they all have one thing in common they make us feel loved. When your partner is mad at you, your flirty responses to I hate you will certainly make them laugh. Didnt your manager think you were capable of putting such a report together? "Scorned ex-girlfriends are the worst. Instead of these phrases, focus on how proud you are of the person. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Thats why its important to take their words seriously and to respond in a meaningful way. 2. I have a one year old boy and a two month old boy, and I had my first day back at work yesterday. . Taking a few deep breaths can help you focus. Is your partner proud because they can now be associated with a high achiever? I have never regarded the word pride as implying that the one feeling it is somehow responsible for it. The Four Words That Can Protect Your Child's Mental Health, Parenting Behaviours Linked to Suicide Amongst Adolescents, How to let your children know you are proud of them (Very Well Family), First published 28th August, 2014. Similarly, if someone tries to imply a mentor relationship by telling you, Im proud of you, its like a bad parent trying to claim the rights and status of a good one. And Im so ashamed of you. I may never know but you can simply ask him if you question the genuineness in his response. This is what makes the difference in whether the receiver feels great or resentful. Setting goals you can achieve, also called "realist goals," reduces the chance of frustration or doubting yourself or your abilities. For what? Likewise, these are special, cute, and funny replies when someone says I am proud of you and you dont know what to respond next. 16. What someone else does might make me proud to be his or her friend/teacher/partner/whatever and thats exactly how Ill express it Im proud to be your fill-in-the-blank. ( Or even what youve done makes me proud to call myself your ____). Dont just thank them, you can reply with some cute responses to let them know that youre proud the same as they are. Im happy that youre with me in good and bad times. Imperfect, striving, playful, loving, learning. You are using an out of date browser. 5. Those of us who were brought up around this attitude are understandably wary of the phrase, and likely to avoid it. The words I am so proud of you sum up those sentiments. Be proud that you are here. I almost never tell anyone Im proud of them, for exactly this reason. Like I wasnt doing enough before? By the fifth repeat of the painting, the response from him mother may quite different from the first. Someone who credibly says "I'm proud of you" usually has two characteristics. You would have to know the whole story. I was damned proud of her for overcoming this setback and told her so. A teacher or a mentor can be proud of their student, but you can't really be proud of your peers. Without you, I couldnt do it. but with my Mothers words of wisdom always echoing. It is an accomplishment that makes good memories in life. Benjamin Franklin Positive, Forgiveness, Respect 985 Copy quote The administrator suggests obtaining professional advice on any concerns (including medical or psychological) the reader may hold regarding their children, themselves, or others. How often do we utter this common parenting phrase, in moments of pleasure at our childs latest achievement? I dont think that without your support I can make it. Use thirty phrases to say "I'm proud of you" to make the special person feel good and empowered. Also, as bilabial says, I like the recognize traits he values in himself, like his thoroughness and carefulness. I was irritated by that remark. (a short read). Even if it's true, he says, "I don't want to think that I was walking around for a long time looking like hell.". JavaScript is disabled. Well, that means they're impressed, happy, and overjoyed with what you did, achieved, or say something. 6. I am in awe of your talent and accomplishments. I am so lucky to have you in my life and your . Here are some examples of what you shouldn't say to someone on their sober anniversary. I knew it, if no one was going to like this. They dont have more power than you, and in some cases less, but their opinion matters because they know you so well, and because you respect them and what they think. 3. ), belonging to my close friend, on her business page. We love all of our readers and we want to you to know how much youre appreciated! What a surprise! Let me tell you why. If these 10 phrases come up often, they're signs he doesn't want a relationship with you, and you should move on with someone who can be the person you deserve. 4. Sometimes people use it to appropriate the achievements of others, which is a sad and awful thing. If you want to reply saying you're proud of the person saying he's proud of you, the only correct answer out of those four is "I'm proud of you too". It can also help to show appreciation to others and can help to create stronger relationships. The words hit me like a . As in, he's purely attracted to your appearance. I cannot understand that and think he is misusing the word. It got me thinking, "How many people could send me that sort of email?" 6. When you respond to Im proud of you with gratitude, youre reinforcing the positive behavior that you want to see in yourself and others. Mull over various relaxing options, like meeting up for coffee or tea, and then send along one concrete plan, Manly says. Thank you so much for this great compliment. Here are some examples of ways you can respond to Im proud of you: These responses will show your appreciation for their words and will help to strengthen your relationship. As a friend I want you to know that I am so proud of you. Better Responses 2023. How Do I Tell Him I Like Him The Best Method (Proven), What Does It Mean When She Calls You Daddy, Im so glad that youre proud of me. Now, of course, its diminished if the person throws the phrase around too casually to colleagues, all family members, etc., but if they are a genuine and caring person, then I believe it shows a deeper connection. I guess its an odd word and I stay away from it because I know how sensitive I am to it. I started to cry with the realization that in my 40+ years I had never heard it from anyone but him. But you'd like some clarity on what he really means when he says that. I'm so much proud of you for completing your graduation and wish you will succeed in every . Overall, its reserved for people who you trust and respect. That would have shown so much more appreciation for what I do 24 hours a day, instead of a measely Im proud of you.. 24. Just let them be. But, seeing youre proud of me, Im fine. The Psychology of Bragging. I got into a conflice with her sons girlfriend because this young woman was working in a store behind the til and had made a gross error in punching out my cash register amounts on my bill and I had to go and confront her to get a refund as the store owed me about $50 due to her errors. I dont think my children have any problem with this because they know, in many other ways, I love them dearly. ". Aw yeah, yeah, yeah. Proverbs 18:12 Before destruction the heart of man is haughty, but humility goes before honor. You might say: "I'm so proud of you for trying to quit smoking. 11. When someone says "I'm proud of you", they are expressing their admiration and respect for you - and that can be a powerful thing. Simply thanking them or hugging them is an immediate reaction to it. Were brothers, dont you forget that! Later in life, after having been to university, but not knowing what I really wanted to major in and which degree I wanted to get (prepped for teaching career, but not convinced it was the right career for me), I stopped my studies and took a good union job, which at least paid some bills and gave me teh good feelign of earning money. I do not believe that parents need to say "I'm proud of you" to show their support of, and their emotional connection to, their child. If you had a hand in that success then I think it is ok to say, I am so proud of you as it does imply that the speaker played a part. Thank You. While "sb is proud of him" can express positive meaning. What if you really are proud of the person? Sept. 29, 2020, 8:12 PM PDT / Updated Sept. 30, 2020, 5:34 AM PDT. At the same time, the paper stated that "a key is to ensure that children feel positively connected to their parents and family," and that parents needed to demonstrate to their children that "they cared about them", that they "had their back". Best of BBC Future. Especially when you get to hear this from your parents, it means theyre happy to see you grow up the way they raised you. Thats why we feel pride in our childrens accomplishments. It means she feels proud for what you've done or achieved. Image used under license from Shutterstock, Larissa Dann. He may understand you have daddy issues and need a masculine pat on the back. The proud feeling transcends from child to parent. 4. I googled a sentence on this topic to see if anyone had written on it (hoping they had). Well, that means theyre impressed, happy, and overjoyed with what you did, achieved, or say something. Powered by WordPress. Id have fallen over from shock if I ever heard it from anyone in my family (& still would!). ), Partner: "I'm proud of you for landing that job", While you might understand that your partner is being supportive, might you also feel a bit miffed? But arguing about what words mean is pointless- meanings vary. I have always struggled with this word. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); All Rights Reserved. I feel virtually murderous towards them. But if someone says this to you, without further explanation, then it means that you are not a priority to them, they have other things that they are doing. Narcissism can be a personality trait and a mental health disorder, and someone can have narcissistic tendencies without being labeled a "narcissist." When you live with narcissistic. You had nothing whatsoever to do with any of this you pond-bottom suckers.. Although its worth taking a mental note of that in case a pattern does develop. And that's how I arrived at the "I'm Proud of You" litmus test. "I wish I had met you. She says "Good boy. 4. Im proud of you could be seen as an external judgement a parents verdict on a childs performance. 4. 7. Because this was someone elses idea.