quotes duty call warfare modern war. Uncle Monty: (referring to his cat) Yet again that oaf has destroyed my day! Danny: You've got a rush. I happened to be looking for a suit for the Coalman two weeks ago. [Withnail's lonely, aging homosexual uncle Monty has gone home, leaving a note humbly apologising for the desperate sexual advances he made on Marwood the night before]. Withnail: One of my favourite movies. Sinew in nicotine base. Wake up, you bastard or I burn this bastard bed down! 'S alright, 's alright, s'alright We're going, our car has arrived! I think you've been punished enough. [Withnail picks up a bottle of lighter fluid]. ", Oh! Hair are your aerials. They are playing poker with bottle tops and a . Danny: Marwood: Withnail: The thermostats! [they go and sit down at a table with their drinks]. You need working on, boy! What a piece of work is a man! Now, would you leave? Your email address will not be published. Headhunter to his friends. Vegetables again. Balls! Hare. [voiceover] Now, which of you is going to be a splendid fellow and go down to the Rolls for the rest of the wine? Just because the best tailoring you've ever seen is above your f***ing appendix doesn't mean anything! General: [narrating over scene] You want working on, boy. Why don't you wash up occasionally like any other human being? Isaac Parkin: Marwood: We're incompatible. You just wait. Withnail: Then why has my head gone numb? - Monty: Youre going to finish the vegetables. [fondling the money Monty has given them to buy Wellingtons] Listen, I know what you're thinking but I had no alternative. But he's a very low-temperature spade, the Coalman. Jesus Christ, this huge, thatched head with its earlobes and cannonball is now considered sane. Marwood: Then they must be delighted with your career. I know you're not asleep, boy. Withnail: All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. So here we are gonna talk about some of thebest quotes from the movie. All right, this is the plan. I know how you feel and how difficult it is. The beauty of the world, the paragon of animals! Withnail: Then stick it in the soap tray and save it for later. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Withnail And I. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. Marwood: Much more of this and I'm going to apply for meals on wheels. Withnail: Withnail: Withnail: [to Withnail] You've got soup. Just because the best tailoring you've ever seen is above your f***ing appendix doesn't mean anything! Withnail : Right, you fucker, I'm going to do the washing up! Keep back, keep back! Yes, but if it rains, we're buggered. . Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts . Maybe he's written this in some moment of drunken sincerity. Withnail: And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust? But no man's put me down yet. The man was fined $10,000 and was ordered to pay $1,843 in restitution to Maine. Withnail: Withnail: The Withnail and I film script contains a virtually non-stop array of one-liners from all the main characters - and for this reason the film is often touted as being one of the most quotable films ever made. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. Headhunter to his friends. Withnail: Probably on a tenner a day, and I know what for! Marwood: I'm not having this shag-sack insulting me! There is a hare tied to the door with a note attached. Evidently country people are no more receptive to strangers than city-dwellers. What good's the side? Marwood: Jake: Stand aside! [shouts out of the car window at a man standing on the pavement]. Withnail: It sent chills up and down my spine when Keith quotes Prabhupada when he said . When I come in, I seen one the size of a fucking dog. Flowers are essentially tarts. Let go before it's too late or hang on and keep getting higher, posing the question: how long can you keep a grip on the rope? Belongs to the fellow downstairs. We'll buy this place and have it knocked down! How right you are, how right you are. Withnail: If I ever see that silage-heap hanging about up here, I'll take the bastard axe to him. A pair of quadruple whiskies and another pair of pints, please. The old bugger's come a long way and I didn't want to put the wind up him. We're in danger, we've got to get out. I'm utterly arseholed. Withnail: Then the f***er will rue the day! Marwood: Much more of this and I'm going to apply for meals on wheels. Get out of it for a while. Withnail: Danny: I happened to be looking for a suit for The Coalman two weeks ago. Withnail: Here are found the emeralds, sapphires, carbuncles, topazes, chrysolites, onyxes, beryls, sardius, and other costly stones. Give in to it, boy. Required fields are marked *. It'll happen. Marwood: I have just narrowly avoided having a buggering. Because I want to walk you to the station. We're in the middle of a f***ing gale. Now, look, you. Have you had any training in the martial arts? All right, this is the plan. Withnail: Come on, old boy. Them pheasants are for his pot. Find your neutral space. This thread is archived. Withnail: Armed with this splendid script, Richard E. Grant executes a tour de force as a relentlessly angry-at-the-world unemployed actor and raging alcoholic. We may as well sit round this cigarette. Tea Shop Proprietor: And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust? Marwood: Change down, man, find your neutral space. [smiling] They pick up signals from the cosmos and transmit them directly into the brain. How infinite in faculties! Danny: Relax, man, find your neutral space. I often wonder where Norman is now. Withnail: You fill this with piss, take this pipe down the trouser and sellotape this valve to the end of the old chap. Trade: Phenodihydrochloride benzorex. Jesus Christ. Do as he says. I'm in a park and I'm practically dead. It will pass. That's what you say. Withnail: Danny: Marwood: The school in fiction Poetry. Oh, look at this little bastard. You been away? You want working on, boy! Scrubbers! General: [pointing an eel at him] Two out-of-work actors -- the anxious, luckless Marwood and his acerbic, alcoholic friend, Withnail -- spend their days drifting between their squalid flat, the unemployment office and the pub. Do you know, when you first came in here I knew you were a services man. Screaming like a madman he moves towards the bull, which turns around and runs back through the gate. I fail to see my family's of any interest to you. Web. I must be out of my mind. I don't consciously offend big men like this. I think you've been punished enough. His head must weigh fifty pounds on its own. That is an unfortunate political decision. You mustn't blame yourself. Marwood: "It's gone. Withnail: You will make it low. What fucker said that? You have made it high. They don't like me being on stage. He's building the prototype now. An old woman with a clunky hearing aid pinned to her apron opens the door, she still doesn't answer. It's trying to get itself in with you, it's trying for even more advantage! If I hadn't told him you were active we'd never have got the cottage. Withnail: You've had an audition. Get any more masculine than him and you'd have to live up a tree. Marwood: Having said that, I now intend to leave for London. I thought they'd all be out the back, drinking cider and discussing butter. They walk down to the cottage. It is the most shattering experience of a young man's life when one morning he awakes and quite reasonably says to himself "I will never play the Dane." This doesn't go down at all well. 2023. We live in a land of weather forecasts and breakfasts that set in, shat on by Tories, shovelled up by Labour, and here we are, we three; perhaps the last island of beauty in the world. This boy's been out there frozen to the marrow and you just sit in here drinking. Marwood: Where did you school? Danny: Danny: You'll have to find us first. We are indeed drifting into the arena of the unwell. Come on, old boy. They're selling hippie wigs in Woolworths, man. Marwood: They're selling hippie wigs in Woolworth's, man. Withnail: I feel like a pig shat in my head. "Withnail and I Quotes." This is ridiculous. "Oh no, please, don't pull my head off." [screwing his eyes shut in terror, moaning] Danny: We worked out it would be very handy karma for him to get hold of a suit. Withnail: Withnail: Marwood : No, no, you can't. It's impossible, I swear it. He'd like a bit of pleading. Get into the countryside. My wife is having a baby. "I'm going to pull your head off, because I don't like your head.". That's politics, innit? Withnail: Sulking up the hill. But sooner or later you got to get out, because it's crashing. You merely imagined it. [they've arrived at the cottage, it's cold and dark]. Withnail: I feel like a pig shat in my head. Withnail hands Marwood the bag of shopping and jumps over the wall to safety. I don't advise a haircut, man. You can stuff it up your arse for nothing and fuck off while you're doing it! Monty: Here hare here. No need to get uptight, man. [he throws the shopping the air and it scatters in the mud. withnail and i 96119 GIFs. [Monty's Rolls-Royce pulls up outside the window]. It's like a tide. It won't be the first time I've been left with the couch. Suits me. And at the end, it seems Withnail is sad that Marwood is leaving him and regrets his choices. Rejuvenate. "Geoff Woade is feeling better and is now prepared to step back into society and start tossing his orb about." There can be no true beauty without decay. Prostitutes for the bees. And I'm sitting in this bloody shack and I can't cope with Withnail. Raymond Duck. [overtaking a car on the motorway] Withnail is cowering under the covers]. We'll have another pair of large scotches. There are things in there, there's a tea-bag growing! Have another look in that shed. We've got to get some booze. Discover the priceless words that sparkle and shine here. Screaming like a madman he moves towards the bull, which turns around and runs back through the gate. His mechanism's gone, he's had more drugs than you've had hot dinners! Uncle Monty: I've been preparing myself to forgive you. You haven't got a chance! Of course he's the fucking farmer! Danny: I dont advise a haircut, man. You're looking very beautiful, man. I think we better release you from the lgume, and transfer your talents to the meat. Call Of Duty 4 Modern Warfare: War Quotes - YouTube www.youtube.com. Then you get horribly drunk and they can't fucking touch you. Tea Shop Proprietor: It's impossible, I swear it. In fact, he'd probably tell you what he was going to do before he did it. Find *anything*. Monty: Danny: Don't get uptight with me, man. I've only had a few ales. Wake up you bastard, or I burn this bastard bed down! What should we do? What's your name, MacFuck? Four floors up on the Charing Cross road and never a job at the top of them. If you don't remember the sixties, don't worry neither did they. What should we do? Here hare here!" Bruce Robinson, Withnail and I: the Original Screenplay. Monty: Beside there's nothing invented I couldn't take. I'm not gonna understudy anybody. 'He used to get in bad tempers and act up,' said his wife. Withnail: Marwood: Why don't you wash up occasionally like any other human being? Danny: If I medicined you, you'd think a brain tumour was a birthday present! Marwood: It's full of brilliant quotable lines: "We've gone on holiday by mistake!" "My thumbs have gone weird". Monty: Danny: So there's this judge sitting there in the cape like f***ing Batman with this really rather far out-looking hat. You're out of your mind! Here hare here!' How dare you! Danny: It's like a bloody rugby ball now, it will die, it will die! That means we'll miss out on Monday but come up smiling Tuesday morning. Quotes.net. Let him get his drugs out. Then it was a rodent. [eyes filling with tears] Well, I don't know. Monty, Monty! Withnail: Hold on, don't let your imagination run away with you Marwood: Imagination! [noticing the plastic bags that Withnail is wearing over his shoes] Don't you agree? The movie, which ta. I tried not to. Monty: You little thug! Withnail: (Ranting on a mountain) Bastards! Me? Those are the kind of windows faces look in at. This is a court, man. How dare you. How like an angel in apprehension. Stop saying that, Withnail! Change down, man. "Boy lands plum role for top Italian director" Course he does! Danny: I want something's flesh! Peter Marwood (I): Even a stopped clock tells the right time twice a day. The man is rich and homosexual and he tries to persuade them, but he gives up because he's convinced there's something between them. Monty: Tea Shop Proprietor: [extends arm with umbrella straight up to sky]. I can't take aspirins without a drink. Danny: Then why's he wearing that old suit? The police, Miss Blennerhassett. I've been to drama school. For reasons I can't really discuss with you. Uncle Monty: I sometimes wonder where Norman is now. Easy for you to say, luvvie, you've had an audition. Monty: I don't know what's in here. You don't understand. [voiceover] Withnail: Withnail: I have of late, but wherefore I know not, lost all my mirth. Why can't I have an audition? withnail. It's like great yellow sock. It's a part I intend to play, Uncle. Monty: Uncle Monty: Come on lads, let's get home, the sky's beginning to bruise. Withnail: Come on lads, let's get home, the sky's beginning to bruise. This is a far superior drink to meths. the web and also on Android and iOS. . Easily The carrot has mystery. General: Clearly a myth. [he pulls its head off and tips some pills out of it]. Stop saying that! Withnail hands Marwood the bag of shopping and jumps over the wall to safety. A coward you are, Withnail! Withnail: I have of late, but wherefore I know not, lost all my mirth. [on top of a hill, shouting into a valley, his voice echoing] Marwood: It's like Greenland in here. Monty: Afrika Korps. I have just narrowly avoided having a buggering, and have come in here with the express intention of wishing one upon you. Quite freaked me at the time. Withnail: I assure I'm not [drunk], officer, honestly, I've only had a few light ales. I do. As a youth, I used to weep in butchers' shops! let him get his drugs out! Danny: I happen to think the cauliflower more beautiful than the rose. Withnail:I'll not have this shag sack insulting me! The thermostats. The fuel and wood situation. Dead down the drain? grant . Oh, of course you are. Like "Withnail: This is ridiculous. I think the carrot infinitely more fascinating than the geranium. Now that represents a degree of hypocrisy I've hitherto suspected in you, but have not noticed due to highly evasive skills. Withnail: I don't consciously offend big men like this. [pulling a pheasant out of his coat] Lets take a look at the following list and find out the best Withnail and I quotes. What a piece of work is a man! You got a rush. I've no idea. : Withnail and I. I find the quote read by Monty from the note written by the poacher very usable: "Here, Hare, here." Surely Herr Hare Here. Withnail: The carrot has mystery. Withnail: Withnail: Withnail and I Quotes. You have done something to your brain. Withnail: Shat on by Tories, shovelled up by Labour. *What are you doing prowling around in the middle of the fucking night*? Danny: Look at this - accident blackspot? Find helpful customer reviews and review ratings for Gold, Guns and God: Swami Bhaktipada and the West Virginia Hare . That's what you'd say, but that wouldn't wash with Geoff. Withnail: Offer him yourself. They pick up signals from the cosmos and transmit them directly into the brain. Marwood: Withnail, you bastard, wake up. Withnail: It's impossible to use 12 papers on one joint. He gags and gasps]. Director: Bruce Robinson Stars: Richard E. Grant, Paul McGann, Richard Griffiths Rating: Unrated Runtime: 107 minutes Withnail and I is a 1986 film comedy written and directed by Bruce Robinson and starring Richard E. Grant (Withnail), Paul McGann (Marwood, the "I" of the title), Richard Griffiths (Uncle Monty) and Ralph Brown (Danny). Excuse me, we were wondering if we could purchase a pheasant off of you? Then why has my head gone numb? The murder and All-Bran and rape. Withnail: Jake: Get any more masculine than him and you'd have to live up a tree. Marwood: You are invited to spend an hilarious weekend in the English countryside. It used to give him bad tempers and act up said his wife. What have you found? Nonsense, this is a far superior drink to meths! The cottage. We've just run out of wine. Will it? Sons are the anchors of a mother's life. Why can't I get on television? He used to pick on me. Apart from a raw potato, that's the only solid to have passed my lips in the last 60 hours. So, there's this judge sitting there in a cape like fucking Batman with this really rather far-out looking hat. Withnail: Stop saying that! [cheerfully hopping back over the wall] Marwood: He's right, Withnail, look at him! This *is* the morning. Locations, see. Withnail: Withnail: You can stuff it up your arse for nothing and f*** off while you're doing it! General: Listen, Withnail, it's a stinker. I've absolutely no interest in yours. Didn't you hear? Do you grow? It's like Greenland in here. And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of *dust*? Marwood: Go with it. Withnail: Rejuvenate! Marwood: [picking up an apron] Jake: Irishman: It's obsessed with its gut, it's like a bloody rugby ball now! Withnail: Because I don't advise it. Hey, give us a wheeze on that fag. Look at my tongue, it's wearing a yellow sock. Withnail: I'll not have this shag sack insulting me! My heart's beating like a f***ed clock! They're selling hippie wigs in Woolworth's, man. Nonsense. Uncle Monty: Here hare here here hare here! I hope you guys like our collection. A cat, and the rain Vim under the sink, and both bars on. Man delights not me, no, nor women neither. I say, you know what we should do? If you have any question or suggestion then just comment below or contact us. I'm a friend of Montague Withnail's. The only programme I'm likely to get on is the fucking news! Withnail: Voila! [voiceover] He went to the other place, Monty. He is even taller than Withnail and much more burly. My brain's capsizing. What on Earth are those? Nor women neither. I've never met him. C*nt give him two years. No more than you have. Policeman 2: Marwood: Stop saying that, Withnail, of course he's the f***ing farmer! Marwood: There's a man over there that doesn't like the perfume, the big one. Marwood: https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Withnail_and_I&oldid=3185462. [he picks up the kettle on the stove. What's in your hump? Laisse-moi, respirer, longtemps, longtemps, l'odeur de tes cheveux. You can use the left-hand menu to view some of the most popular quotes from the main Withnail and I characters . No, nor woman neither nor woman neither. How infinite in faculties! I'll swallow it and run a mile! I think we've been in here too long. Oh, Christ almighty. Of course you are! How dare you call me inhumane! I sense there is world play but I just don't get it. Marwood: Yes, you are! I feel unusual. We forgot to bring our Wellingtons. Withnail. It's ridiculous. Bastard asked me to understudy Konstantin in The Seagull. 2010 Drama 24M views 2 years ago Uncle Monty - the end of an age ohheckforgotusername 157K views 11 years ago Withnail & I 30. I think an evening at The Crow. If I hadn't told him you were active we'd never have got the cottage. We've gone on holiday by mistake. We're working on a film up here. I think we've been in here too long. That's what you say. Marwood: "I f*** arses"? Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. How dare you tell him that?! Calm down. Marwood: you little traitors. We might wanna do a film in here. Why didn't I get any soup? You know what we should do? My heart's beating like a fucked clock! I'm not going to understudy anybody. [Withnail has been pulled over by the police for speeding down the motorway in the beat-up Jaguar]. "In a world exclusive interview, 33 year old shot putter Geoff Woade who weighs 317 pounds, admitted taking massive doses of anabolic steroids, drugs banned in sport. These aren't accidents, they're throwing themselves into the road! Listen to me, listen to me! We want the finest wines available to humanity, we want them here and we want them now! Withnail: Listen, we're bona fide, we're not from London. And if I spike you, you'll know you've been spoken to. First thing we've got to do is get this fire alight, then we split into two fact-finding groups. Much more of this and I'm going to apply for meals on wheels. All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. He winces as he stretches his leg, the drunken, elderly pub landlord opens the till and it hits it him the chest and he almost falls down, they go and sit down at a table with their drinks, fondling the money Monty has given them to buy Wellingtons, a poacher enters the pub with pheasants stuffed under his coat, making him look like a hunchback, he pulls Withnail's cigarette out of his mouth and puts it in his, after having entirely covered himself in muscle embrocation to keep warm, Withnail laughs uncontrollably and drops to the floor, Marwood comes out of the bathroom wearing a towel, Withnail has been pulled over by the police for speeding down the motorway in the beat-up Jaguar, gesturing at the wine bottles and Marwood in the back, in a telephone box, speaking to an operator, noticing the plastic bags that Withnail is wearing over his shoes, after being threatened by Jake the poacher, Danny offers Withnail his huge Camberwell Carrot spliff, Marwood is leaving to go to Manchester to do a play. Monty: The movie, which takes place in England in late 1969, involves the misadventures of a pair of chronically unemployed actors. Monty: He's a madman. *I'll show the lot of you*! Marwood: Withnail: In that case, "To a delightful weekend in the country.". withnail. "I'm gonna pull you head off." DRIVE WITH EXTREME CARE"] Withnail: You want me to call what's-his-name and ask him about his house? Why doesn't he retire? Listen, you young prat. Withnail: It will die, it will die! Sherry? Now, come along, I'm going to teach you how to peel a potato. Marwood: [stands barefoot, about to leave Withnail and Marwood's flat] Yes, we'll buy this place and we'll install a fucking jukebox in here and liven all you stiffs up a bit! But now he's stopped, he's much better in our sex life and in our general life.'" Soak up the booze. Listen, Monty, there's something I have to explain to you. Oh God, it's a nightmare, I tell you, it's a nightmare. Listen to this. Imagine getting into a fight with the f***er! Monty: A coward you are, Withnail, an expert on bulls you are not! He says he won't come in for lunch without an apology. I have a heart condition, if you hit me it's murder. Find the exact Don't suppose you've engaged, have you? This may be the reason bald-headed men are uptight. [after being threatened by Jake the poacher] It's too hot so he drops it, on top of a hill, shouting into a valley, his voice echoing, Withnail's lonely, aging homosexual uncle Monty has gone home, leaving a note humbly apologising for the desperate sexual advances he made on Marwood the night before, Jake has left a dead hare hanging on the cottage door, along with a note, wakes up in the back seat of the car, which is moving along the motorway, he swerves dangerously through the motorway traffic, holding up a Fairy Liquid bottle with a strap and a tube, Marwood knocks on the door of a farmhouse. It's society's crime, not ours. This is a court, man. He told me about your arrest in the Tottenham Court Road. Throwing themselves into the road gladly to escape all this hideousness! Withnail: Marwood: (Voice-over) Thirteen million Londoners have to wake up to this. [the man who called Marwood a ponce gets up and walks over to them. What is all this tactical necessity and calculated risk? As a youth, I used to weep in butchers' shops! Marwood: Here comes another fucker! Withnail: 2023. [he pours the lighter fluid down his throat. Wait till the morning, we'll go in together. Withnail: I've got a bastard behind the eyes. You got a rush. [calmly] Marwood: Scrubbers! This is a British cult classic. [holding up a pill] Monty: What had I done to offend him? Withnail: I think we've been in here too long. This suit was cut by Hawkes of Savile Row. Withnail: Where is he? 100% Upvoted. Withnail: Right you f***er, I'm going to do the washing up! You don't deserve such loyalty. Are you the farmer? Come on lads, let's get home. [gesturing at the wine bottles and Marwood in the back] It's society's crime, not ours. Marwood: Withnail: Withnail: 'Scuse me. No it doesn't. If I medicined you, you'd think a brain tumour was a birthday present. Here.". Danny: We want to get in there, don't we? You're looking very beautiful, man. He's so mauve, we don't know what he's planning! Withnail and I is a 1986 film comedy written and directed by Bruce Robinson and starring Richard E. Grant (Withnail), Paul McGann (Marwood, the "I" of the title), Richard Griffiths (Uncle Monty) and Ralph Brown (Danny). These aren't mine, they belong to him. [points a fencing sword at Marwood face] We get in there and get wrecked, then we eat a pork pie, then we drop a couple of Surmontil-50s each.