carnac the magnificent curses carnac the magnificent curses

One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically"divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. The book is {\it May You! A: Hog jowls, chitlins, black-eyed peas, cornpone, hush . ", "May the fairy god-camel leave a lump on your pillow! A: Double trouble. A: Kitchy-kitchy-koo. May your platform shoes fail you in a camel pasture. Kitchy-Kitchy? ANSWER: Blazing Saddles. Price starting at $87.97 for basic 5,000 sq. The Answer: DOJ-CIA-NSA-IRS-AOC-FBI-BIDEN. A: Sissss, Boooom, Baaaaah! The Answer: Noah Daniels and Little Mort. (Wait for it! The Question: Name three things in New York that may run forever. Q: What does it say on the side of Phyllis Diller's dress? The Answer: Howdy Doody, Jerry Mahoney, and Joe Biden. At the same time, Eves curses also seem to have been reverted. Click image to enlarge. A: Gunga din. Q: What sign did Queen Elizabeth hang on Princess Q: Who ruined that darn rug? The Question: Why do most married men die before their wives? The Question: Whats the name of the hooker Clarnac took the prom during his senior year in high school? A: R-O-L-A-I-D-S. I note with amusement the "Fuck Your Feelings" crowd's epic hissy-fit stompy-foot meltdown over the fact that I referred to Trump's "Diaper Valet" in a tweet yesterday. Q: What comes after Timbuk-one? Q: Describe Mick Jagger's nose. Carnac held each envelope to his forehead while "divining" the answer, then tore open the end of the envelope and loudly blew into it before removing the index card with the question. Some of his one liners:"A loaf of bread, a jug of wine and thou. As Allen acknowledged in his bookThe Question Man, this bit had been created in Kansas City in 1951 by Bob Arbogastand used onTheTom PostonShowin New York where it eventually ended up onThe Steve Allen Show, much to the surprise of both Bob and Steve. His reign on NBC's Tonight show lasted just a few months short of . , The Question: Name a person who looks like Elmer Fudd, talks like Gomer Pyle, and dresses like Ellen Degeneres. The Question: What is the new slogan at Taco Bell? And I enjoyed every single minute of it.. CARNAC: May a crazed furniture refinisher stain your Johnny Carson fans: Do you have a favorite "Carnac The Magnificent" joke? Q: What is it that Ronald Reagan keeps trying to hide? May there be more than one of you to bear the mountain of misery and griefI wish upon you. , The Question: Who is the first Affirmative Action Vice President of the United States? seats. A: Baja. Q: How does a stupid person spell "backgammon"? The Answer: Big Ben, Dak Prescott, and a politicians campaign promises. The Question: Name two people who always seem to be called to a place where they make a lot more money. Get a random spoof news story. the memoirs of Richard Nixon. Carnac the Magnificent: Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson.One of Carson's most well-known . sister. Icons & Idols Hollywood (#1212) 12/01/2011 9:00 AM PST CLOSED! The Answer: Dumbo, Eeyour, and Mitt Romney. The character was introduced in 1964. Q: Name two rams and a goat. Box 4, Folder 46. Wilbur, Orville, and Wright. These jokes aren't mine, copyright on them is held by the Sometimes Clarnac has to leave quickly. ", -- -----------------------------------------------------------------------------Rudy Rumohr Jr. 3339 N. Charles St Apartment 1-ALUUCP: ihnp4!whuxcc!jhunix!ins_armr -or- Baltimore, MD 21218 seismo!umcp-cs!jhunix!ins_armr -or- allegra!hopkins!jhunix!ins_armrARPANET: ins_armr%jhunix@wiscvm.ARPA. Story. A: Eleven. The Question: Name the only three people in the world making any money off going green. , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop. Q: What noise does Mr. McMahon's liver make? Here are a few of his curses: May a crazed weightlifter clean and jerk your sister. Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson.One of Carson's most well known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the east" who could psychically "divine" unseen answers to unknown questions. A: Trapper John. May you be rich enough to own a house with 100 rooms, and may you be found dead in every one of them. A: Head and shoulders. Explanation of WPA. Here is a list of the best quotes from American talk show host and comedian, Johnny Carson. They've been kept in skirt. The Question: What did Rodneys doctor tell him when he asked for a second opinion? The Question: What did comedian Richard Pryor do when his nose got too fat from snorting cocaine? Q: What do you get when something gets caught in your Carnac the Magnificent was a comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. CARNAC: May a diseased yak drop his cud in your hooped A: Fondue. Watch Carson episodes every night on Antenna TV at 10:00PM ET / 7:00PM PT and 4:00PM ET / 1:00AM PT!Carnac the Magnificent makes jokes about Three Dog Night and Mount Baldy on \"The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson\" in 1974.JOHNNY CARSON PLAYLISTSAnimals http://bit.ly/carson_animalsBloopers http://bit.ly/carson_bloopersCarnac http://bit.ly/carson_carnacCelebrities http://bit.ly/carson_celebritiesChristmas http://bit.ly/carson_christmasComedians http://bit.ly/carson_comediansMonologues http://bit.ly/carson_monologuesSkits http://bit.ly/carson_skitsMusic http://bit.ly/carson_musicFOLLOW JOHNNY CARSONYOUTUBE: \"Subscribe\" http://bit.ly/johnnysubYOUTUBE MAIN MENU: http://bit.ly/johnny_menuYOUTUBE PREMIUM: http://youtube.com/johnnycarsontvFACEBOOK: \"Like\" http://fb.com/johnnycarson TWITTER: http://twitter.com/#!/JohnnycarsonGOOGLE+: http://bit.ly/johnnygplusJOHNNY CARSON IS AVAILABLE ON:ITUNES http://bit.ly/johnnyitunesDVD: http://bit.ly/carsondvdsAMAZON: http://bit.ly/amzn_carsonGOOGLE PLAY: http://bit.ly/carson_gplay\"carnac on three dog night and mount baldy\" \"three dog night\" \"mount baldy\" \"johnny carson\" \"johnny carson youtube\" \"tonight show\" \"johnny carson show\" comedy \"best of johnny carson\" Carson \"johnny carson best moments\" \"the best of johnny carson\" \"johnny carson theme song\" \"best of carson\" \"the tonight show with johnny carson\" \"tonight show johnny carson\" \"tonight show band\" \"jonny carson\" \"carnac the magnificent\" \"carnac\" \"johnny carson carnac\" \"humor\" \"hilarious\" \"funniest moments\" \"video clip\" \"live tv\" ), The Question: Who is the largest conservative in the Republican Party? The Answer: Kermit the Frog, Shrek, and Al Gore. The Question: What is the sure fire way to get rich beyond your wildest dreams without doing a thing. . "Answer: Donald, Benji, and Alexis CarringtonRips open envelopeQuestion: Name a duck, mutt, and a ****.Karnak foresees the answer -- "Bobby Orr, Bobby Hull, Ed Sullivan. Ed: Often times, thats exactly what Clarnac gets. This crowd would applaud for a train wreck. 4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars (164) $23.99 $ 23. Function: _error_handler, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/page/index.php QUESTION: Name a Kirk, a Turk and a jerk. Question: "What does a doctor use to look at your kaleido?" Stumble It! The Question: Whats the name of Bidens black, female affirmative action nominee to the Supreme Court? The Question: What instructions do you get when your proctologist used to be a photographer? The Question: What do you call a guy who likes to eat, drink, and be Mary? A: Jaques Cousteau. . Q: Name a spud, a stud and a dud. Q: Who was just arrested for impersonating a baseball team? . A: A full moon A: Sha-na-na. The entire studio erupts in hysterical laughter] Q: Which floor wax was used by the Three Mile Island The Answer: I didnt think I had enough gas. A: Peter Pan. A: Ben Gay. [2] As Allen acknowledged in his book The Question Man, this bit had been created in Kansas City in 1951 by Bob Arbogast and used on The Tom Poston Show in New York where it eventually ended up on The Steve Allen Show, much to the surprise of both Arbogast and Allen. (croud cheers) #10. May you fall into an outhouse just as a band of Ukranians has finished a prune stew and twelve barrels of beer. Q: What do you say when you want to get your Gung to stop? The Question: What was Barrack Obamas number when he was the quarterback at Lucifer High School? (Crowd cheers) #10. A: Damnation Alley. However, it was his allusion to the old college cheer that gained him the loudest and longest laugh of the night. Ed McMahon: Shogun. , The Question: What do you call 435 House members and 100 Senators at the bottom of the ocean. A: A, B, C, D, E, F, G. , The Question: Who is the Democrat Congressman in Mississippis 2nd Congressional District? Its hard to divine when you cant see. The Answer: Liar, Liar, Pantsuit on Fire. 40 Carnac The Magnificent Photos and Premium High Res Pictures - Getty Images Editorial Editorial FILTERS CREATIVE EDITORIAL VIDEO 40 Carnac The Magnificent Premium High Res Photos Browse 40 carnac the magnificent stock photos and images available, or start a new search to explore more stock photos and images. Browse more quotes by famous person's name. A: A nine foot base with two feet of powder. Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. grandfather. A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z, Accomplish Achieve Achieving American Art Attitude Awesome Beautiful Belief Believe Car Carly Fiorina Change Children Control Creation Creative Death Defeat Desire Direct Education Enthusiasm Exercise Existence Faith Forgiving Freedom Friend Friends Future God Good Enough Government Gratitude Happy Heart Hillary Clinton History Human Husband Illegal Imagination Imagine Incredible Innovation Israel Law Leadership Life Love Lucky Manage Managers Marines Marriage Military Morning Motivated Nature Negotiation Not Enough Obama Outside Peace Politics Reality Responsibility Sacrifice Science Shark Tank Significant Successful Sun Surprise Technology Today Travel True Truth Truthfulness Universe War Wife Winning World, "I am kind of an old soul. I have been collecting records, CDs and DVDs. BILLINGSGATE POST: Johnny Carson was the very best. The funny story above is a satire or parody. [8], Since the 1980s, Howard Stern has paid tribute to Carnac the Magnificent, with his own skit called Sternac the Improbable. Q: What does a masseuse do to your dub-dub? this year? . A: Kaleidoscope. So we see that as we get closer and closer to the Messianic Era when the world will go back to a perfected state, curses are reverting all around us just as the Vilna Gaon predicted. https://www.torchweb.org, Torah Outreach Resource Center of Houston, Please Patronize Our Calendar Advertisers - Full Listing. One of Johnny's best-loved characters was Carnac the Magnificent. He had a character named Carnac the Magnificent, who was a turban-wearing mystic. Q: Name two countries and a luncheon special at the NBC "May Yule Gibbens eat your pine trees!" Q: What do you call a cop who frisks himself? hair". Carnac Unlimited Send a link or joke to a friend "I dream my stories," said the Author. Watch now: Free with ads. Q: How do you play piggyback with Telly Savales? Johnny Carson Carnac the Magnificent replica prop hat. Are you sure you want to cancel your membership with us? Q: What do you use to fry a peter? The Question: How much did Clarnac lose on his 30 day diet? Q: What do you get from a bee that has an udder? As well, Eve was cursed that her husband should rule over her (see Genesis ibid), yet with the Womens Rights movement this has changed in a big way. Baseball-Reference.com Win Probability - New York Yankees vs. Boston Red Sox, May 30 1961 t1 b1 t2 b2 t3 b3 t4 b4 t5 b5 t6 b6 t7 b7 t8 b8 t9 b9 BOS 50% NYY. , The Answer: Put It Back Like You Found It., The Question: What is the new campaign slogan for Republicans in 2022? My question to you net.joke-sters out there: What is the funniest "ComedicCurse" you have heard? My favorite Carnac(sp?) Q: How did Marlon Perkins explain the rash on his thigh? A: Rocky, Network and The Silver Streak. A: Superbowl. (Ben Dover) , The Question: What is Richard Schwartz fee if he collects for you? Q: What do you call getting hit with a fistfull of peanuts. In fact, had Bilaam been successful in his attempt to curse us, the Jewish people would have been destroyed, G-d forbid. CARNAC: May a crazed Arab repairman board up your Q: What looks delicious, quivers all over and can't talk? Longtime sidekick Ed McMahon ritualistically and bombastically introduced the Carnac routines. Q: What do you call getting slapped around by a German king? One? As a child of four can plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed. A: Touchback. A: Ransack. CARNAC: May an evil genie put splinters in your Aurora Function: require_once. Q: What was dat hippie smoking? The Answer: Because the employees are smoking the 11 herbs and spices. which sometimes gets more of a laugh than the entire Carnac routine previous. CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT ED McMAHON: Heaven has no brighter star than our next stellar guest, that omnipotent master of the east and former manicurist to Howard Hughes, Carnac the Magnificent. A: Henry R. Block. I just got a new DVD, and I am really excited about it, but I miss my childhood a little bit I guess. They've been kept in a mayonnaise jar on Funk and Wagnalls' porch since noon today. A: Evon Guligan. Although Bilaams curses were many, all of the other curses - save the one for Houses of Prayer and Study - eventually came to pass. A: Groundhog. A: "Oh God!" The Question: Name an elephant, a donkey, and a Rino. Ron Toth, Jr., Proprietor 72 Charles Street Rochester, New Hampshire 03867-3413 Phone: 1-603-335-2062 Email: ron.toth@timepassagesnostalgia.com A: Touch and Go. QUESTION: Name a clock, a jock and a crock. Only Johnny Carson could make the commercialization of Shakespeare funny. questions having never The Question: Clarnac hit a fat lady with my car. Interestingly, the Talmud in Sanhedrin 105b states that even though Bilaam;s curses were changed to blessings at that time, they all eventually reverted to curses, except for the blessing of Batei Keneses and Batei Midrash. A: Plumber's helper. Q: What do you hear when you put an amplifier in your gunga? JOHNNY CARSON'S MAGICAL BEGINNINGS. Q: How do you tell a Sha not to do something? Men's Giant Turban Costume Accessory. Jokes would also be topical; for instance, "Over 105 in Los Angeles" (presumably referring to the temperature) instead led to "Under the Reagan plan, how old would you have to be to collect Social Security?" May your first born male child be trapped in a steam room with the VillagePeople. I unfortunately have not kept up with this particularfield, so can enlighten you no further.--, Craig Werner !philabs!aecom!werner "Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by stupidity. Q: What should the oil companies' new slogan be? Q: What do they put on horses at the Preparation H Ranch? Carson as Carnac the Magnificent Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Q: What are Ernest and Julio Gallo? dickory? There were skits performed such as Carnac the Magnificent, an "all-knowing seer," and the elderly Aunt Blabby. Next. Question Man. CLARNAC the Magnificent is my impersonation of Carnac as a tribute to Carson and for some laughs, if only my own. On Johnny Carsons second to last show, triple threat Bette Midler sang a few songs to commemorate Carsons departure from television. . Line: 192 car industry. The Question: What words of encouragement can you give to a person with a kidney stone? 42 results for "carnac hat" RESULTS. Q: How do you say "Good morning" to your diddly "Knickerbocker"Q. A: "Small craft warning!" (Jews never kneel in prayer.). A: Grape Nuts. Curses, Curses, Curses . Q: Name an address Anita Bryant will never have. Q: What do you call dressing up as a tree? After Carnac said an answer, McMahon would frequently repeat it in a booming voice ostensibly as a help to the audience setting up a sneer, putdown, or some other comic reaction from Carson. (Dr. Wuhan) , The Question: What is Kamala Harris approval rating? May a crazy holy man set fire to your nose hair. ANSWER: Dustin Hoffman. What do you look for when you're tracking three whackas? ", Jan Elliott AT&T Bell Labs, Holmdel, NJ .hounx!jansz. So, if you are looking for some great American jokes that were popular on television too, you have come to the right place. Q: Name three things you won't find in Los Angeles. Q: What does Clark Kent wear to keep the sun out of his Q: What would you find in Superman's bathroom? No one knows the contents of Q: Describe two people who like to cheat. She was cursed to have pain during pregnancy, childbirth, and raising the children (see Genesis 3:16), yet the pains of pregnancy and childbearing have been significantly eased in our times thanks to modern medicine and inventions like the epidural anesthetic. (Joke only good for Central Mississippi folks). Box 4, Folder 48. A: The eye of a frog, the wing of a fly and the throat of a [1] As Carnac, Carson wore a large feathered turban and a cape. CARNAC: May a weird holy man light a Roman candle in your QUESTION: What do they put on horses at the Preparation H Ranch? A: Madame Kitty. when is a felony traffic stop done; saskatchewan ghost towns near saskatoon; affitti brevi periodi napoli vomero; general motors intrinsic value; nah shon hyland house fire May your platform shoes fail you in a camel pasture. If one of Carnacs jokes (often a very bad pun) generated a negative response, Carnac would give a disapproving look, then cast a comedic "Middle Eastern curse" upon the audience. The character was taken from Steve Allens essentially identical Answer Man segment, which Allen performed during his tenure as host ofThe Tonight Showin the 1950s. The Question: Name 8 things that will soften your brain. A: Mop and Glow. Q. Kentucky: The state that is being dragged, kicking and screaming, into the 20th century. , The Question: How did Clarnacs wife lose 240 pounds of unwanted fat? Alas, poor Yorick, dont forget your American Express card! promises. During one of his infamous animal interactions, Johnny Carson got up close and very personal with a Burmese python. Our Story; Our Chefs Falling in Love Again (1980) with Susannah York, The Hollywood Knights (1980 . May a desert weirdo lower his figs into your mother's soup. , The Question: Who is the longest surviving member of the Japanese Air Force? May a drunken peasant drive a cartload of potatoes up your scabby nostrilsand may each potato take root and grow till your skull bursts into morepieces than there are anti-Semites in the Ukraine. Q: How does Howard Cosell call his toupee? Q: What do you call a sadistic tailor? Currently showing results page 1,636 of 2,021. The Question: Name four traits you have to have to be president in 2022. KeyCastr. In 1987, Myrtle Young came on The Tonight Show to show off her rare collection of potato chips. Welcome once again, O Great Sage. Q: What do you say when it's Rose's turn at the bowling CARNAC: May a camel with a weak kidney condition find your jar since noon today on Funk and Wagnell's porch. Carson as Carnac the Magnificent Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Q: On a cold morning, what forms on de-grass? Box 4, Folder 45. A: Fists of fury and five fingers of death. Carson 500's, The 1985. Carson Emmy Awards, The 1975. "A: A, B, C, D, E, F, G.Q: What were some of the earlier forms of Preparation H?A: Shoo-be-doo-be-doo.Q: What do you look for when you're tracking a shoo-be-doo-be?A: Zippo Marx.Q: What do you get when something gets caught in your Zippo?A: Touchback.Q: What's the smart thing to do if a Dallas Cowgirl touches you?A: Kitchy-kitchy-koo.Q: What do you call a military coup led by General Kitchy Kitchy?A: Big Ben, Joe Namath and a candidate's campaign promises.Q: What is a clock, a jock and a crock.Answer: Sis Boom BahQuestion: What sound does a sheep make when it explodes?Name what offence someone should automatically get the death sentence:Johnny: Whoever told squirrels they were good at crossing the road!Ed: Yassir ArafatJohnny: Yassir Arafat(envelope opening)Johnny: What's the sound made when Dolly Parton removes her bra?Johnny: "It was so cold outside"Audience: "How cold was it? , The Question: What do you call pedestrians trying to cross I-220? Q: What do you get when you squat on a rosy red fire? May a love -starved fruit-fly molest your sister's nectarines. sister's hooped skirt. us? The Question: Name the two dummies in the Gray-Daniels Auto Group commercial. A: The Rock of Gibralter. car? "Carnak: Do-whacka-doEd: Do-whacka-doCarnack: What do you look for when you're hunting do-whackas?Carnak: Dippity-doEd: Dippity-doCarnak: What collects on your dippity in the morning?A. be sending Georgia soon? Q: How much time has Governor Brown spent in California In one instance, Carnac tripped and broke the desk! A: Pat and Debby Boone. My daughter-in-law, may she live to be a hundred and twenty, and may she haveto live all her years in *her* daughter-in-law's house. The character was introduced in 1964. The Question: Where did Jen Psaki go when she resigned as Obidens Press Secretary? girlfriend. , The Question: Who is the biggest conservative in the Republican Party? Carnac The Magnificent Quotes May a diseased yak squat in your hot tub. Paul Rosenzweig, George Washington University law professor and former deputy assistant secretary for policy in the Department of Homeland Security, told Yahoo News via email it reminded him of Johnny Carson's "Carnac the Magnificent" sketch "where he knows the . A: Burn the candle at both ends. Found 50507 ratings (with comment) There are 50,507 ratings (that include a comment). As a child of four can plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed. . Johnny Carson "Carnak The Magnificent" One Liners. the Denver Nuggets. "[7] Songwriter Neal Merritt used the Carnac Saver as his primary inspiration for a song with a similar insult as a title, "May the Bird of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose," a hit for Little Jimmy Dickens. Carnac the Magnificent was a role played by Johnny Carson on "The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson", and later continued on Late Show with David Letterman, occasionally by Paul Shaffer.One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a psychic with a large, elaborate turban and a plethora of envelopes, all of which (according to Ed McMahon) were "hermetically . Q: What does a president look for in a singles bar? I remember two of his classic curses: May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits! and May a diseased yak drop dead on your front lawn!. Q: How long does a United States Congressman serve? . ", Robert Bickford (r@well.uucp)================================================| I doubt if these are even my own opinions. A: "Coming home." The Answer: Under Willie Brown and through Joe Bidens colon. [1] A net, Comedic or not, "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits" is. Q: What do you call it when old topless dancers refuse to Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Q: Name a Kristofferson. Q: Name two movies and a suppository. $12.37 delivery Tue, Mar 7 . I forgot aboutyour total recall. Line: 208 May a toothless holy man give your grandmother a hickey. Q: What do you say when calling your quat? Only this curse was not humorous at all. A: Fit to be tied. Q: What does Zsa Zsa Gabor call the center of a church? Q: Where do New Yorkers put their dogs muzzles? A: "Here's Boomer." , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop. Our users have written 2 comments and reviews about Carnac, and it has gotten 25 likes. The one that had McMahon and Carson nearly rolling on the floor with sustained laughter was Sis boom bah. . Q: What do you get when you put Preperation H in your One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. Carnac the Magnificent, in which Carson played a psychic who clairvoyantly divined the answer to a question contained in a sealed envelope. [1] , The Question: What is the name the new Disney fat stripper movie. As a child of four can May the Shah of Iran seek refuge under your sister's skirt. The Question: What was the third grade to Jackson councilman Kenny Stokes? "A triple and a double, catcher's and fielder's, and Dolly Parton""Name two big hits, two big mitts..and a famous country singer! Q: What do you see if you hold your hernia up to a mirror? Box 4, Folder 47. A: Roots. Q: What should be posted on Howard Cosell's tongue? Get Image Page 1 of 4 Q: How do you get it? parents. ED: Certainly worth waiting for CARNAC: May a bag of Pop Rocks explode in your shorts. Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show. Ed: (Ed points to the nearest exit and hands Clarnac the first envelop and says) Envelop number 1. "carnac the magnificent" Memes & GIFs. A: Fun with Dick and Jane. Q: What do you look for when you're tracking a shoo-be-doo-be? Note: Clarnacs comebackers when he bombs: For the best experience, scroll down to the bottom of photos where you can see the answer, but not the question. Q: What are the only things that can move on Sundays? May a diseased shih tzu hump your grandmothers good leg. May a desert weirdo lower his figs into your mother's soup. NO ONE [at this shout, Carnac always acts startled] knows the contents of these envelopes but you, in your mystical and borderline divine way, will ascertain the answers having never before heard the questions. . Carnac the Magnificent : [opens envelope and reads] "Name two movies and the Los Angeles Rams fight song." Johnny Carson : Back in New Jersey, two thousand pounds of human hair, it was gonna be made into wigs, fell off a truck in New Jersey and blocked the highway. night? Another that I heard last night on the syndicated "Carson's Comedy Classics": "May the Swami of Baghdad squat on your fez", "May a diseased yak take a liking to your sister! [Ed Ames has thrown a tomahawk across the stage, hitting a painting of a cowboy straight in the "crotch". . sister's hope chest. The character would emerge from behind the show's curtain accompanied by Indian music, and make his way towards the desk, where he would invariably stumble on the step in front of the desk and lose his balance. The Question: What was the result of Joe Bidens colonoscopy? The Question: Name a drink made up of 7-Up and prune juice. , The Question: What is the most compelling reason for a mask mandate? The Answer: An Oscar, an Emmy, a Grammy, and two Golden Globes. Q: Describe the five finalists in the Miss Universe